Taste of Darkness Page 3

“No, I’m not. My patients are doing fine.”

  “What if more casualties arrive?”

  “I’ll be back by nightfall.” I folded the maps and tucked them under my arm.

  Ryne trailed me to my cavern and watched as I organized my pack, removing Kerrick’s boots. Debating about my cloak, I left it behind and strode for the cave’s exit.

  “I can order you to stay here,” Ryne said, hurrying to catch up.

  “You can.” I kept moving.

  He huffed. “I can order the guards to stop you.”

  “You can.”

  By this time Loren, Quain, and Flea had joined Ryne.

  “Avry, you’re not going to find Kerrick. He’s gone,” Ryne said.

  I stopped and turned. Suppressing the desire to punch Ryne in the mouth, I asked, “Who said I was going to search for Kerrick?”

  They all blinked at me in surprise.

  “You need more toxin sacks, right?” I asked. “Or did Wynn lie about that, too?”

  “We do need more, but—”

  “So what’s the problem? I’m going out to collect them. Unless you know someone else who can harvest them from the Death Lilys?” I waited.

  “Uh...” Ryne rubbed a hand over the stubble on his cheeks. “All right, you can go, as long as you take the monkeys with you.”

  “I’m going, too,” Flea said, shooting us all a stern look that dared us to argue with him. At least he had more color in his face today.

  “Fine. But hurry up, we’re burning daylight.”

  They scrambled to get their weapons and packs.

  Ryne stared at me. “Don’t go too far. There are still enemy patrols to the south and west.”

  “And we can easily avoid them. They all sound like a herd of drunken deer.”

  “But for how long? Wynn is working for Cellina now. She learned how to be quiet in the woods and it won’t be long before she’s teaching Cellina’s soldiers.”

  Good point. And she’d learned that skill from me. Another ramification of her betrayal. However... “It’s only been a couple days.”

  “Still worth considering. In fact, now that Cellina’s in charge, it’s even more dangerous to be out there. We’ve no idea what she’s planning.”

  “And you knew Tohon’s plans?”

  “Yes. He wanted to conquer all the realms and be king. Not hard to figure out his next move. Cellina, on the other hand, is more of a mystery. Plus she has Wynn’s information. We’ll have to relocate the infirmary and my headquarters as soon as possible. And until I get intelligence on her movements, it’s best for everyone to lie low.”

  If he was trying to scare me, it wouldn’t work. “We’ll be extra careful.”

  Ryne frowned.

  The guys returned and we left the cave.

  “Which way?” Loren asked me.

  I touched the greenery, seeking Kerrick’s magic. Disappointment jabbed. “East. And keep a sharp eye out.”

  “For what?” Flea scanned the forest.

  “Lilys. Right, Avry?” Quain asked with a sad smile.

  “Yes. We’re searching for Lilys.”

  “Oh.” Flea hefted his pack. “Why didn’t you say so in the first place?”

  * * *

  Although we found nothing that first day, we continued to seek Lilys after my morning rounds each day. I harvested a few toxin sacks, but not near enough to neutralize the thousands of dead soldiers or to stop our daily excursions. Wounded arrived sporadically as Ryne’s soldiers encountered Cellina’s. Odd returned to patrolling with the odd squad, and Ryne relocated his headquarters. The prince’s men continued to scout for an alternate infirmary site.

  The burning knot of misery that had lodged in my chest consumed a little more of me each day.

  After a week of Lily hunting, Loren spread the map on his lap and said, “We’ve covered all of the area around the infirmary. We’d have to camp overnight to reach new territory.”

  Quain and Flea glanced up from their bowls. They’d been shoveling food since we’d returned from our latest sweep. We sat around the hearth.

  I ignored Loren’s implication. “Okay. We’ll bring our bedrolls tomorrow.”

  He paused for a moment. “But the odds of finding...er...a Lily that far away are high.”

  “You can stay here, Loren. I’m not giving up.”

  “Yeah, I figured you’d say that.”

  “Then why did you bring it up?” I demanded.

  “Because it needed to be said. And while you don’t want hear it, it’s true. But if this is what you need to do...then we’ll go with you. However, I plan to be the voice of reason whether you like it or not.”

  Flea and Quain ducked their heads. Cowards.

  “I’m not giving up,” I said again. Jabbing my spoon into my soup, I swirled the contents around. My appetite was nonexistent since Kerrick had disappeared.

  “Okay. Do you want to go farther east or check along that stream to the north?” Loren asked, pointing to the map.

  Neither place had any Lilys nearby. “Stream to the north.”

  “We’ll need a full day to get there. How soon can you leave tomorrow?”

  We spent the remainder of the evening discussing our plans.

  Before I turned in for the night, I checked my patients. Most were already asleep, but one of the new arrivals remained awake. He had fallen into a ditch and broken his left leg below the knee. Ginger had immobilized it in a splint. Although he claimed he felt fine, there was no mistaking his stiff movements and tight expression.

  I consulted with the caregiver on duty. “Has anyone given Private Davin medicine for the pain?”

  “Yes, he drank a cup of bittwait.”

  “How long ago?”

  “Right after supper.”

  He shouldn’t be in pain. I returned to his bedside. Davin had been carried in this morning. I’d done a quick visual exam, spotted the broken leg and let Ginger do the rest. Perhaps I’d been too quick. Healing magic gathered in my core. When I placed my hand on his forehead, I let my magic flow into Davin.

  His leg was broken in two places, not one, and he had a couple cracked ribs and a sprained ankle. No wonder a single cup of bittwait hadn’t worked. I fetched the caregiver and, after he drank another cup, we wrapped his ribs and ankle and also immobilized his entire leg. I stayed with him until the crinkles on his forehead relaxed and he fell asleep.

  Guilt throbbed along with the ever-present grief inside me. If I hadn’t been so anxious to leave this morning, I’d have used my magic and known the extent of the young man’s injuries. He wouldn’t have suffered all day.

  Wide awake, I lay next to the small fire in my cavern, staring at the flames. Our plans for tomorrow meant I’d be gone for two days at least. And for what? To keep my hope alive? To do something, anything, just so I could say I wasn’t giving up. Stopping the search didn’t have to mean I’d given up hope. Or accepted his death.

  We were at war, and my patients needed me here. And I couldn’t forget about my promise to Mom, the innkeeper of the Lamp Post Inn. She had done so much for me, creating my disguise so I could go undercover in Estrid’s army. I’d promised her I’d keep her daughter, Melina, safe. Melina had been conscripted into Estrid’s army and then sent to the monastery in Chinska Mare for not being a virgin. While Melina was safe from the war, there was no way I’d let her stay incarcerated.

  I’d tell the guys my decision in the morning. At least now I’d have time to figure out a way to rescue Melina while Flea and I experimented to learn the extent of his magic.

  Even after making the difficult decision, sleep still eluded me. I considered other hard decisions and wondered what Cellina would do about Tohon. She had to know I’d refused to heal him. Unless... I sat up. Unless sh
e had Kerrick!

  We’d assumed she’d retreated to safety after our encounter. But what if she’d doubled back? What if she’d seen Kerrick leave the cave and captured him? What if Sepp put him into a magical stasis so Cellina could negotiate with me? Kerrick’s life for Tohon’s.

  I wilted. She would have sent a messenger by now. And I wouldn’t heal Tohon. Not even for Kerrick. Or Belen. If he was her prisoner, which we hadn’t confirmed. Plopping back on my bedroll, I endured another bout of sorrow and wished my healing power could heal a broken heart.

  * * *

  In the morning, I gathered my determination. Moping wouldn’t change a thing. However, actions would. I focused on the positive. For example, Flea’s magic. If Belen had been touched by Sepp, we had a way to free him.

  The monkeys and Flea weren’t surprised by the change in plans. A sad acceptance emanated from their hunched postures. Flea bent his head so his long bangs covered his eyes.

  “Don’t give up,” I said. “I’m not. Kerrick’s the most stubborn person we know. He’ll show up one way or another. But for now, we need to concentrate on Flea.”

  Flea glanced up. “Me?”

  “Yes.” I sat next to him. “We need to determine the extent of your new ability and figure out if you’re a true death magician. We know you can break a stasis, but can you put someone in one?”

  “I...I don’t know.”

  “Then we’ll need a volunteer.”

  The three of us looked at Quain.

  Quain put his hands up. “Hold on. I’ve already gone through it.”

  “Which makes you the expert,” Loren said. “You can tell us if Flea did it right or not.”

  “It’s the ‘or not’ that I’m worried about,” Quain said.

  “Sepp said he can’t take a life like Tohon could, but he can freeze life in a fake death,” I explained.

  “But how do I do that? When Quain was frozen, I had this weird compulsion to touch him. And when I did—” he grimaced at the memory “—it felt like my stomach turned inside out. It was the same when you were in trouble. I got this...sour feeling. But right now, I’ve got nothing.”

  “Maybe you need to concentrate on it,” I suggested. “Think about pausing his life.”

  “Uh, I don’t like the sound of that.” Quain scooted away from Flea.

  “It doesn’t hurt, you big baby,” Loren said.

  “Then why don’t you volunteer?”

  “That’s enough,” I said to the monkeys. “This is important. If he’s able to do it, it’ll save lives.”

  “I’ll try.” Flea closed his eyes. He twisted his shirt in his hands. After a minute, he opened them. “Nothing. Sorry.”

  “Try again, but this time, put your hand on Quain’s arm,” I said. “Quain, push your sleeve up.”

  Frowning, Quain exposed a muscular forearm. His loose shirt hid his powerful build, but the muscles on his neck bulged with tension. Flea rested his fingers on Quain’s arm, closed his eyes again and pressed his lips together.

  We waited.

  Flea gasped and jerked his hand away. He stared at Quain in horror.

  Quain looked confused. “Did he pause me?”

  “No,” Loren said.

  “What’s wrong?” I asked Flea.

  “I—I think...I’m going to be sick.” Flea dashed out of the cave.

  I chased after him. He bent over a bush, vomiting. When he finished, he sank to the ground. Kneeling next to him, I put my hand on his sweaty forehead. My magic didn’t stir. At least he wasn’t truly sick.

  The monkeys hovered by the cave’s entrance. When Flea spotted Quain, he squeaked in alarm. I gestured to them, waving them back inside. Sitting back on my heels, I dropped my hand.

  “What happened, Flea? Talk to me, please.”

  He drew in a deep breath, then met my gaze. I almost glanced away. His light green eyes shone with pain and grief. His haunted expression looked straight through me for a moment. “You can’t tell Quain. Promise me.”

  Uh-oh. “I promise.”

  “I saw his death. When, where, how. All the gory details.”

  “Oh, no. I’m so sorry, Flea.”

  He shook his head. “Not your fault. I need to learn... But I’m not going to tell him or anyone else. Not now. Okay?”

  “Yes. We’ll stop experimenting. Ryne has that book—”

  “No. I need to know what else I can do. It’s too important.” He took my hand and relaxed a bit. “Touch is still okay.” He gave me a half smile. “Guess I need to concentrate in order to see. And, truthfully, I never want to do it again.”

  “You don’t have to.” And at the moment, I couldn’t think of a reason he’d need to. Except... “Uh, Flea. Can you at least tell me...”

  “Not soon. He’ll be annoying us for a while.”

  I sagged against Flea. “Good. I don’t think I’d survive if I lost another friend.”

  “Me, either.”

  We sat together for a while. When we returned to the cave, the monkeys hustled over. Flea took a step back, but then recovered.

  “What happened?” Loren asked.

  “Flea threw up, but he’s okay,” I said.

  “Why did you get sick?” Quain asked.

  Flea shrugged, but wouldn’t meet Quain’s gaze. “I guess when I try to use my magic, it makes me sick.”

  A lame excuse and Loren was too smart to fall for it. But I gave him a pointed look and he dropped the subject.

  Flea accompanied me during my afternoon rounds.

  “Another aspect of Sepp’s magic is he could tell if an injured or sick man would die from his injuries,” I said.

  “Isn’t that what I just did with Quain?” Flea hugged his arms to his chest.

  “Not quite. Quain’s healthy. Sepp called death a threshold. He said he could see what caused a person to cross over the threshold and also sense if they’re close to crossing. He never mentioned being able to see into a person’s future. And knowing Sepp, he would have bragged about it and used it to his advantage.”

  “Oh.”

  I checked on Private Davin. Color had returned to his face. In fact, a little too much color and his breathing was ragged. Probably a fever.

  “Flea, touch his hand, but don’t concentrate on anything. Just see if you get a...feeling.”

  He hesitated then placed his fingertips on Davin’s knuckles. Flea snatched his hand away as if burned. “Something...” He tapped his chest. “In here. A clot? It’s not good.”

  Surprised, I took Davin’s hand. My magic flowed into him. This time, I waited, letting it seep in, ignoring the obvious injuries. I detected a small blockage in his lungs. If left untreated, it would grow and be fatal.

  “What’s wrong?” Flea asked.

  “It’s a pulmonary embolism. You just saved his life.”

  “Me? No, you. You’re the healer. You would have figured it out.”

  “I was going to give him fever powder. If you hadn’t spotted it, he would have died tonight.”

  Flea stared at me a moment as if he couldn’t quite believe what he’d heard. “You mean, this...magic might be a good thing?”

  “I know he can be annoying, but don’t you think waking Quain was a good thing?”

  “Yeah, I did, but...that was more a onetime deal. And after seeing Quain’s...” He spread his hands. “Just seemed more like a curse.”

  “It’s a gift from the Peace Lily. But I understand what you’re saying. Having magic is a mixed blessing. Yes, we have power and can do things others can’t, but we also have a duty to use them to help others and a responsibility not to abuse the gift.”

  Flea groaned. “Why does everything have to be so complicated?”

  “I wish I knew. And if I could,
I’d change it in heartbeat, trust me.”

  Before I healed Davin, I continued checking the rest of my patients. Growing bolder, Flea touched each one, reporting what he felt. Glad there hadn’t been any other medical surprises, I returned to Davin.

  This time after my magic flooded him, I pulled it back into me, assuming the clot and his cracked ribs to make him more comfortable. Wheezing with the effort to draw breath, I walked gingerly to my cavern. Pain ringed my chest with every step. I almost passed out from taking off my boots.

  “Avry, wait.” Flea carried a cot. He set it down next to the fire. “You shouldn’t be lying on the cold stone ground tonight.” He helped me lie on it, put my pillow under my head, and covered me with a blanket. Flea paused when he spotted Kerrick’s shirt on the floor. Then he scooped it up and tucked it next to me.

  “Thanks, Flea.”

  “You’d do it for me.”

  “Yeah, but you’d complain I was fussing over you too much.”

  He shot me his lopsided grin. “You are overprotective, but I’d be...sad if you weren’t. Good night, Avry.”

  “Night.”

  When he reached the exit, I called his name. He turned.

  “I’d like you and the guys to bring your bedrolls back. It’s way too quiet in here.”

  “Will do.” He saluted and left.

  I drifted into a deep healing sleep. Dreams mixed with memories.

  I stood in the garden in Sogra with Kerrick behind me. He traced the scars on my back as Tohon called my name. Instead of running away this time, I turned to embrace him. But he’d disappeared. A thorny bush grew in his place.

  Tohon laughed. “You can’t escape me, my dear. I’m always with you. Unlike Kerrick, who has a nasty tendency to leave you when you most need him. Who’s going to save you now?”

  “I can take care of myself.”

  “You’re sick and injured.”

  “I’m safe inside the cave.”

  “Are you sure about that, my dear?”

  A shuffling noise woke me. I peeked through slitted eyelids. Messy bedrolls surrounded the fire pit. The guys had been here, but by the tossed blankets and scattered pillows, I guessed they’d left in a hurry. Unease swelled. Drawing in a deep breath, I tested my ribs and lungs. Still very sore, limiting any extended physical activity.