Chronicles of Ixia 09.5 [Soulfinders] - Diaper Study

  PART ONE

  "Are you sure you can handle it?" Yelena asked.

  "For the millionth and twenty seventh time, yes, I can handle watching a tiny human for a few hours,"

  Janco said, trying hard to keep the annoyance from his voice. New mothers could be such worry warts. Hmmm...he wondered where that term came from. Was it because people worried about having warts or the warts themselves were worrying?

  "When's Ari coming back?" she asked as she balanced Liana on her hip. Yelena peered dubiously around Janco and Ari's apartment in the Commander's castle.

  Granted, it wasn't the most well organized of places...well, Ari's side was militarily perfect, but his...never mind. "First, I'm insulted that you think I need Ari to babyguard Liana for a few hours, and second, Little Miss Assassin has him on a ten to twelve day mission."

  Yelena shook her head. "You're still calling Onora that? She's your boss you know."

  He grinned. "Even more reason to use it. Besides, it keeps her humble." Janco waggled his eyebrows at Liana. The baby giggled then continued to suck on a handful of her mother's long black hair. Drool glistened from the wet strands. Yuck.

  "If you're sure..."

  Janco plucked Liana from Yelena's arms. Pretty solid for a seven month old. Her short black hair curled at the nape of her neck. With her big blue-green eyes, this girl was going to be gorgeous.

  Scratch that, she was gorgeous. "Go, have fun on your ride with Valek and the Commander. We'll be fine."

  She finally relented. "Liana's had her nap and just ate." Yelena handed him an oversized bag. It weighed more than the baby.

  "What's in here?" he asked.

  "Diapers, a cleaning cloth, a bib, a blanket, toys, a change of clothes, a bottle, a book and a few medical supplies."

  Janco stared at her aghast. "What do you expect to happen?"

  "Hopefully nothing, but I've learned to be prepared."

  "Prepared for what? A siege?"

  "Maybe I should--"

  "Say hi to Kiki for me." He pushed her out the door and shut it. "Mothers," he muttered. Liana stared at him. "You're going to have a tough time getting away with anything," he said to her. "Between your overprotective mother and paranoid father, you're going to have to be one smart cookie to fool them."

  Janco smirked. "Good thing, you have your favorite uncle to teach you all you need to know."

  She babbled back at him in complete agreement. Super cute. At least she didn't seem to mind her mother leaving her with him. Not too surprising. From what he'd seen since Yelena and Valek had arrived in Ixia for a visit, she'd been a happy and easy going baby as she was passed from lap to lap.

  Ari was going to be mad he missed them. Too bad, so sad. More love for Uncle Janco!

  He set the bag on his desk and sorted through it one handed. Finding a yellow teething ring, he handed it to her. She immediately put it into her mouth and munched on it. Okay then. Janco set her down on the floor and proceeded to set up a nice little play area. Blanket spread out, toys within easy reach--she should be entertained for hours.

  But when he turned around to move her onto the blanket, she was gone!

  Frantic, he searched the room for what felt like hours until he found her crawling under the coffee table. Crawling! Yelena said Liana napped and ate, but failed to mention the most important thing--

  the infant was mobile.

  He scooped her up just as she reached into his bag of tricks. Clutched in her chubby hand was Janco's butterfly knife. Thank fate it was closed. Relief rushed through him. She stuck out her lip when he took it from her. It trembled dangerously.

  "Not yet, baby bunny. You need a little more coordination to handle this." Janco shifted her to his left hip and flicked his right wrist, demonstrating how to flip the knife open, revealing the double edged blade. Her eyes widened. "Nice, right?" He swung her around to his right hip and repeated the motion

  with his left hand. "It's important to be equally adept with both hands in case you need to hold a sword in one and the knife in the other."

  Liana gurgled and he took that as a good sign.

  "I'll have to see if I have any rubber training knives for you. In the meantime..." He placed her in the center of the blanket. "Play with your toys." Janco relocated his bag of tricks to the top of his desk. He glanced around the room to see what else needed to be moved only to discover Liana had ignored her toys and once again crawled away. Grabbing her before she could pull a pile of books down on top of her, Janco set her back on the blanket.

  Then she proceeded to play "chase the baby." Every time he returned her, she just took off for the most dangerous thing within reach. Although Liana could have been hurt a dozen times, she thought this was the most fun. Janco, on the other hand, was not amused.

  Finally, he pulled the book from the bag, picked her up and sat on the couch with her nestled in his lap. "How about Uncle Janco reads you a story?" The colorful pages of the book were thick and sturdy.

  The title read, The Iddy Biddy Farm.

  He opened it. "On the iddy biddy farm there were iddy biddy horses pulling iddy biddy plows. There were iddy biddy cows...oh for sand's sake this is the stupidest book, I've ever read. Iddy biddy cows my...er...backside." He tossed the book. "I've a better story. Once upon a time, your Uncles Ari and Janco were deep in the jungle. It was hot and muggy and bugs were crawling all over us. Even in places that bugs had no business being. We were tracking a big bad magician. Your Uncle Ari was scared so he hid behind a giant Vorskio tree 'cause any other tree's trunk was too small for his fat...er...backside. But your Uncle Janco bravely slithered on his belly through the mud and under the spiny bushes to get close to the man.

  "The big bad sat in front of this roaring fire mumbling words and pulling magic. Nothing iddy biddy about it. And it didn't look good for the damsel he'd captured. But I loaded my blow pipe with a dart filled with Curare. I aimed, staying as still as a snow cat about to pounce. And I huffed and puffed and blew the dart straight into his neck. Boo yah! The guy toppled. I rescued the damsel in distress. She called me her hero. And then finally your Uncle Ari came crawling out of his hiding place. Too late again!"

  With a big grin on her oval face, Liana clapped her hands. Janco took this as a request for more stories of his brave deeds. And he certainly had plenty to tell. But after a couple more, Liana squirmed and leaned forward, trying to dive off his lap.

  "Okay, okay. I get it." He scanned his room. Too many weapons lay within reach. "All right. How about we go outside?" Janco packed the bag between mad dashes to redirect Liana's explorations--she was fast! Then he slung it over one shoulder and swept her into his arms. "Let's go on an adventure!"

  Too bad Janco didn't have any idea of just what type of "adventure" he was getting himself and Liana into or else he'd stayed safely inside.

  PART TWO

  The sun shone on the Commander castle's walls. Its strange arrangement of shapes pile on top of each other on the huge rectangle, which served as the base, never failed to amaze Janco. The builder was either a genius or insane. The only symmetry to the structure were the four magnificent towers at the corners. The stain glass windows ringing them glittered with flecks of colorful light.

  A bit of a chill rode the slight breeze. The warm season wasn't as...well, warm in Ixia than Sitia. Janco glanced at Liana who he carried on his left hip. Wearing a cute one piece outfit with little butterflies, she was adorable. However she needed another layer so he fished into the survival kit...er...baby bag that Yelena had provide and found a jacket and knit hat.

  Dressing a squirming baby without putting her on the g
round proved to require quite a bit of coordination. By the time he finished, she was covered and he was sweating. He had a second to admire his handiwork before she yanked the hat off and tossed it onto the ground.

  "It's cold," he said, putting it back on.

  Yank. Down it went.

  This time he tied the strings under her chin--one handed. Ha! No seven-month-old is going to--

  She pulled it forward this time. It came off and she threw it over his shoulder. Sigh.

  "Guess that's a no to the hat." He stuffed it back into the pack.

  Janco carried her around the courtyard and then over to the training yard. Brand new recruits worked with wooden swords and rubber knives while the older ones used real weapons. Setting the bag down and Liana on top of the fence, he stood behind her, holding her around the waist. She kicked her legs and clapped her chubby hands as if enjoying the practice bouts.

  "Now see that fellow over there," Janco pointed to two men sparring with swords. "The one in red is blocking too wide, leaving his torso wide open, but his opponent isn't smart enough to figure it out.

  That guy is too busy wasting energy lunging and retreating. Bah, who trains these guys?" He kept up a running commentary. It was never too early to start teaching the basics.

  "Hey, is that Valek's brat?" a young male soldier asked Janco.

  All good humor fled as Janco studied the impertinent man. The soldier had been sparring with a skinny but nimble fellow. Both had used sharp rapiers.

  "I suggest you apologize to the young miss," Janco said. "Right now."

  "Or what? You'll throw a tantrum." He laughed, but his companion recognized the dangerous glint in Janco's eyes and inched away.

  Smart man. Unlike the lunkhead.

  "Or I'll make you beg for her forgiveness on your knees," Janco said.

  Another guffaw. "And just how are you going to do that, Old Man?"

  That was it. Janco plucked Liana off the fence then climbed over. He gestured to Skinny for his sword.

  The man hurried to give it to him, then backpeddled. Janco settled Liana on his left hip--she made an excellent counterweight and he shifted into a fencing stance with his right arm extended and right foot forward. This protected his left side.

  Lunkhead stared at Janco in amazement. "You can't be serious?"

  "Try me."

  Liana made a raspberry noise at the man. Good girl.

  "First blood?"

  "Oh there'll be blood all right." Janco assured him.

  "You're crazy."

  "I've been called worse. Either apologize or get ready."

  The man shifted his weight, lifted his sword and attacked. Janco sidestepped and elbowed the man in the ribs. Too easy. Janco tested Lunkhead's defenses and let him try a few more offensive moves. The guy actually smiled when he thought he'd almost snaked pass Janco's block.

  Liana giggled and seemed to enjoy the quick motions and spins, which just infuriated the man. Good, anger made a person sloppy. Not that Janco needed the edge as he'd just been playing with the guy.

  But he wanted the man riled up when Janco decided to get serious.

  "Big and brawny but can't even beat a guy holding a baby bunny," Janco taunted.

  Enraged, Lunkhead increase the pace of his attack. And didn't even pause when the tip of Janco's blade nicked his right arm. Guess he wasn't stopping at first blood. No worries. Janco flicked his sword, dodged lunges and spouted rhymes all the while making small cuts up his opponent's forearm.

  When the man's face turned red and sweat soaked his sleeveless training tunic, Janco took it up a notch. He unarmed the man, sidestepped and kicked the back of his legs. Lunkhead fell forward onto his knees, but stilled when the point of Janco's sword jabbed into his thick neck.

  "I believe an apology is in order," Janco said.

  "Uh...sure...I'm sorry, Miss...er..."

  "Her name is Liana Zaltana Icefaran." Janco titled his head at the man's bleeding arm. "Her initials are carved into your skin just in case you forget."

  "I'm sorry Miss Icefaren."

  "Don't forget the begging."

  "I'm sorry, Miss Icefaren, please forgive me."

  "That's nice," Janco said. "Don't you feel better?"

  The guy glared. Stepping back, Janco allowed him to lumber to his feet, but he kept a tight grip on the sword until the man shuffled off. They had drawn quite a crowd. Murmurs rumbled through it along with his name. Time to go. He didn't want to be challenged. There were always puppy dogs yapping at him, nipping at his heels to test their skills against the legendary Janco.

  Janco turned and froze.

  His boss and chief of security, Onora stood near the fence. And her expression was...murderous.

  "What the hell were you thinking?" she asked, but didn't wait for an answer. "Fighting with Yelena and Valek's daughter! She could have been--"

  "Oh, please. I could have disarmed that guy without a sword. She was in no danger."

  "Really?" Ice coated her voice. "All right, show me." She took Liana from Janco. The baby smiled and grabbed a fistful of Onora's brown hair. "Kurt, get your sword. You're sparring against Janco, who won't be armed."

  Janco clamped down on a number of curses.

  "Don't worry," Onora said. "Kurt's at the same skill level as your last opponent."

  Oh. Well, that...was still bad, but not as bad.

  Kurt was taller, which meant he had longer arms, giving him greater reach. Not as broad as Lunkhead, but that just made him quicker. Janco suspected he was going to end up as a pincushion regardless.

  The match began. Janco stayed on the defensive, all he could do without a sword. Ducking, dodging, spinning and sidestepping only did so much. Cuts on his arms, legs and torso added up, but he'd boasted he could unarm the man without a sword.

  Tired and bloody, Janco was about to admit defeat when a crazy, insane idea popped into his head--

  the best kind! Janco charged the man. When Kurt lunged forward with the point of his sword aimed at Janco's chest, Janco slid feet-first on the ground underneath the blade. He hooked his foot around Kurt's ankles and knocked him to the ground. Before Kurt could recover, Janco pounced and yanked the sword from Kurt's grasp.

  "Ta da!" he said, holding his prize high.

  But when he turned to show Onora, she was gone. And so was Liana!

  PART THREE

  This was bad. Really bad. He'd lost Liana. Yelena and Valek were going to kill him. Granted, she was with Onora—he hoped—but if the baby wasn't with him when they returned from their ride, they'd never trust him to babyguard her again.

  Janco handed Kurt back his sword, grabbed his own, and vaulted the training yard's fence. He scanned the people nearby as he calculated how long it had taken him to disarm the soldier--without a sword mind you, how amazing was that?--five, maybe seven minutes. That meant Onora had plenty of time to get lost in the crowd. Janco questioned a few of the onlookers, asking if they'd seen her.

  "No, sir," said one man. "But you should see the medic."

  "Why?"

  The man gestured and Janco glanced at his arms. Cuts bled, staining his shirt. None deep enough to be sealed but he need to change before Yelena came for her daughter.

  "No time right now," he said. "I need to find..." Another possibility occurred to Janco. Onora could be hiding in plain sight, using her magical ability to blend in with her surroundings. He groaned—he'd never find them. Except...Liana also possessed magic...well, sort of. She blocked others from accessing the blanket of power, which Onora needed even though she didn't consciously draw from it. Just like Janco being able to sense when magic's in use. Yelena called them One-Tricks. So Onora couldn't hide and he couldn't use his tracking ability, which left using...

  His brain. Sigh. Now he wished Ari was here to help. Okay, he could do this. He needed to think like Little Miss Assassin. Did she plan on keeping Liana for long? He searched around the fence. No diaper bag. Then the answer would be yes, she planned to keep her for a whil
e. So then where would she go? Her office!

  Janco dashed into the castle, weaving through servants and soldiers, gathering quite an array of curses along the way. Not caring, he pelted full speed to Valek's...er...Onora's office. The door was locked. Tripled locked and no amount of pounding and pleading for forgiveness caused it to budge.

  Stopping, he sagged against the wall. If Onora was trying to punish him, she was doing a pretty good job of it.

  He extracted his lock picks and set to work on the three complex locks. Janco hadn't met a lock he couldn't pick—not yet anyway, but some required time. Time he currently didn't have and rushing only caused delays. Sigh. The first lock was a pin and tumbler with lots of pins. Using his torsion

  wrench and diamond pick, he lifted the pins, aligned the cylinder and... Ta Da! The corridor remained silent. Gee, tough crowd.